What's in a label?

I am me.  I am a person.  I am a woman.  I am a wife, a daugther, a sister.


Yet I have a label.  I am not that label.  Yet I will be judged by that label.

What does it mean to have the label placed on you?  To be labelled with a mental illness?


While it might seem easy for one looking in to say "but if you know what it is then you can get help and people will understand" that is often far from the truth.


What do you think of when you think of autism?  I would bet heavily it is not a fully functioning person who goes to work every day and has a loving family waiting at home for them.  I would be you would think of the more classic definition of a person who cannot communicate, control their body or understand the world around them.  You would consider them invalid for all intensive purposes.


Asperger's syndrome is a form of autism.  A mild form so to speak.  It is found on the autism spectrum, much like learning disorders like dyslexia and other disorders like ADD or ADHD.  Think again.  Would you label someone as mentally unstable or mentally challenged if they had dyslexia for instance?  Unlikely.  I'm guessing you would accept they have a problem and work with it.  You would not view them as unstable or crazy.


Yet this is the world we face.  We would like to think we live in an ideal world where we can walk around screaming at the top of our lungs "I have Asperger's Syndrome!  I am depressed!  I have severe anxiety!"  The real world is often not that kind.  It is just like we would like to pretend that racism, sexism, homophobia and so on does not exist.  It does.  It will always exist.  No matter your skin colour, sexual preference, gender, age, height, weight etc there is at least one point in your life where you will be discriminated because of this characteristic. 


However unlike the examples given previously, mental disorders can be hidden. There is little a practised veteran of society will show outwardly to the average Joe of their condition.  We long term suffers get pretty good at this.  Only our loved ones might know something is really wrong because of the subtle changes in behaviour.  


Perhaps it is good that we long term suffers can hide these conditions.  We appear strong to the world.  Yet often we are more like spider silk in a storm.  There is strength but all it takes is the right rain drop to destroy that fragile mentality we hold onto.  And if we were judged by our condition, which is not who we are but a label created to describe us to others, then we would suffer at the hands of others endless.


When my husband first learned of my diagnosis with Asperger's, he was at first accepting.  He just figured that everything would be alight and we would continue on.  I encouraged him to read on the subject.  I wanted him to be educated.  I wanted him to know what he faced.  


At first he shrugged it off saying he already knew what he was in for.  But it wasn't until he read a poorly written article that shone a negative light on relationships where one person has Asperger's that suddenly things changed.  He grew cold and distant and for a short time I was afraid that we might not survive this diagnosis.  He saw a future where my condition would drive us apart.


Luckily my husband looked past this.  We are now happy as can be and I thank the world for his love and support every day.  He is a rare gem.  But that misinformation that was out there, that information that offered no hope and only a dark future, could have cost me my soul mate.


And that is the type of information that lurks out in the real world.  Information that is accurate but tainted by another's poor experiences or opinions.  The internet has no regulation, that is why I can write this blog and publish it, and unfortunately if you are not guarded enough then this information will lead you down an incorrect track.


Not all people in this world are gifted with the ability to filter this information.  This is what leads to judgement.  I have been told that I personally am a delight to talk too because I have a vast general knowledge, a dry sense of humour and wit, as well as an animated and engaging way of delivering content.  Yet if you knew I had Asperger's Syndrome, could you look past the oddities?  Could you look past the bluntness, the truth that is told in that converstation?  How about the social faux pas and perhaps rude gestures that are sprinkled in?  


If you can get past that, you will probably find a friend for life.