The commercialisation of Christmas

The much dreaded and loved time of year approaches.  Christmas.  A celebration that has its roots in both pagan and Christian traditions.  Originally Christmas was to mark the middle of winter under pagan tradition before the Roman Emperors decided the move Christ's birthday to the 25th of December in order to facilitate more pagans converting to Christianity.  And Santa Claus ... this character as we know him was hijacked by the Coca Cola company to market soft drink, hence why he is dressed in red and white (the colours on the label of a can of Coca Cola).  

However the legend of St Nicolas is true enough.  He was an actual person who gave out gifts to the poor.  Perhaps there is a bit of Christmas good will to be learnt from this.  

I was reading a post on failbook.org (tried to find it but alas it was too late), a website for all the ridiculous posts made on facebook.  One such post was a young girl's outrage at getting only $750 as a Christmas gift and not getting any presents.  Most of us would read that post in disgust at how greedy and self centred that child is being.  I certainly never received such a gift ever from my parents.  

In fact the most expensive present I have ever received from my family was a car but said car was already 20 years old when I received it and my entire family - brothers, sisters, grandparents - had chipped in to give me the car as a 21st birthday present.  That car was my pride and joy, partly because my family had chipped in for it, until I moved to a new country and had to sell it.  I still feel a pang of loss when I think about it because it was like an old friend to me.

But I digress.  Returning to the earlier point, what does it say about society now that a child can make such a self centred post on Facebook?  Personally if a child of mine had written such a post I would be taking said gift and giving it to someone who better deserves it.  And that is the real point.  We get caught up in the whole hype of Christmas, that we must give to everyone in our lives - friends, family, the dog, the cat, that cousin you see only at Christmas, the teacher, the girl you say hi to at the supermarket.  We are so busy giving and preparing for the Christmas day feasts and focusing inward in an attempt to focus outward, do we ever stop to think why we need to buy all these gifts?

We are so conditioned to buy gifts that we will do so without thought to why or should we.  Without sounding ungrateful to my family, I will use this example.  I personally am more of a tom boy.  I would rather buy a new part for my computer than make up, I read tech blogs over fashion blogs, the only designer clothing I own was given to me and even then I don't recognise the brand (I'm told it is designer however) and my husband actually finds me less attractive wearing make up and fancy clothes (he thinks its unnecessary).  And above all I find strong smells like vanilla sickening (I'm told this is a trait of being on the Autism Spectrum because Aspies are hyper sensitive to things like sound, smell, touch etc.).  Yet every year waiting without fail under a Christmas tree my dear loving mother will place countless smelly bath salts, moisturisers scented with vanilla or what ever flower is her flavour of the month, make up and other such girlie items.

You may think I am being a bit of a bitch for writing this, but I'm asking you to look at this perspective.  My mother, who is not a rich person, has spent a couple hundred dollars of her money to place these items there for me.  These are items that will not be used.  In all likelihood they will be discarded at some point in the future, mostly likely unused, when they pass their use by date or they are dug out from underneath what ever pile of stuff has accumulated on top of them.  They are worthless items to me, especially when I have sensitivities to many chemicals found in shampoos, make up, conditioners, soaps and so on.  I can't even use most of them because of these reasons.

I ask you to think about this.  My mother has taken her hard earned, hard won money, and tossed it away.  The end result of her conditioned consumerism.  She has become so conditioned to placing these items under the Christmas tree that it becomes irrelevant whether or not they are items that will benefit me.  They benefit the big companies that produce them as they are another sale, thus adding that little bit to their piles of wealth.  They damage the earth because I will end up tossing out perfectly good items because I have ultimately no use for them.  And the head way that my mother has made on the debts she needs to pay is eroded a little bit more for these meaningless gifts to be under the Christmas tree.

My point is this, gifts that are given because we have to or ill-advised are not benefiting anyone but massive corporations wanting you to buy stuff and banks who are happy to lend you money to waste.  If you give excessive and inappropriate gifts, the wrong people pay the debt.  There are those that would say "Just be happy you got something".  Why should I be happy knowing that my mother's need to feel acceptance at Christmas, a need feed by creative marketing, is only at her detriment.  It benefits the wrong people.  It does not benefit her to see the "Oh that's lovely" look while I shove it under a near by pillow.  It doesn't benefit the world when I throw out said product.  It doesn't benefit her when she gets her credit card bill in January.  

So this year maybe do something good for the world and take that $750 and give it to someone who really needs it.  At this time of year there is many animal rescue groups over flowing with kittens and puppies from people who didn't think to desex their animals, or worse, just didn't care.  They are in this world because society looked on them as a disposable commodity.  They are not.  They are living creatures too.  And those creatures need to be feed.  And taken to the vet.  And desexed.  How many kittens and puppies will die in January because said kitten or puppy is no longer cute?  Or said human is bored of it?  How many will pay with their lives for this?  A pet is for life, not until you get bored.

Not up for animals.  How many people are in your community sleeping in a car?  How many children won't get any gift for Christmas?  My niece lives with her mother who does not have a lot of money after loosing her job and because my niece's father won't pay child support.  My niece's mother cannot give her a gift this Christmas.  The gifts she gets will be from the rest of her family.  We have closed ranks to make sure her Christmas is special.  How many other children in this world won't get that?  There are many who just want a roof over their heads.

This year maybe pay it forward instead of paying it inward.

Narcisism and Social Media

In my previous post I described social media as narcissistic by its very nature.  I stand by that observation.

Social media is inwardly focused in its conception and execution.  Twitter being one of the worst offenders.

When we place a post on Facebook, Twitter ...what ever social media we use we are declaring to the world we want to be noticed.  We want the world to acknowledge our small achievement in life such as clipping our toe nails or that random bird we just saw out the window.  Our posts are inward looking and we are hoping that those on our friends lists will look at them and respond with some sort of congratulations or acknowledgement.

For those who measure self worth by social interaction, this is a fantastic way to boost our egos.  We can put out a needy post and hope that those on our friends lists will call our bluffs and restore our self worth.  Or we can link a picture of a poor cancer kid and hope that they see our like and we can feel we have done our part for the world.  Our contribution to the world if you like.

Perhaps you might recall the Kony 2012 campaign.  A great way to raise awareness but did anyone honestly think that liking a picture or post was going to bring this man to justice?  That liking or commenting on said pictures or posts would magically put him in prison?  This man likely has no access to Facebook, is perhaps unaware of what Facebook is, and a campaign on such a platform is unlikely to do anything other than make him giggle if he saw it.  I will state I am not on the side of this sicko.  I am merely pointing out that those who did like or comment on these posts were merely filling their good deed quota for the day and moving on, not really taking in the whole gravity of the situation or why this man was creating child soldiers in the first place.

The likely reason ... to gain control of resource rich areas of the world to build his wealth by supplying Western civilisation with the raw materials they need to make their computers, smart phones, tablets etc.  I didn't really look too far into the one specific example of Kony, which I have read he had already been dealt with prior to the campaign beginning anyway.  But I have researched the situations in Africa and in the Congo and this reason is the big reason for so much unrest.  Religious fundamentalism is also there, but at the heart of any fundamentalism is the need to fund such fundamentalism.

So while many people liked away, they didn't really understand that their rampant need for consumerism and electronics was the actual reason behind such men as Kony.  Thus we make the clear case for social media and its inward looking narcissism.  By clicking like on a picture calling for Kony's arrest, we are filling our need to feel like we have made a difference in the world and then move on to something else.  A purely selfish act at it's heart because it had nothing to do with educating the masses about the plight of the children in Africa as child soldiers and nothing to do with bringing a man to justice for his heinous crimes against humanity but everything to do with making the West feel less at fault for causing the situation in the first place.

Thoughts of death

One thought circles in my  head every day.  The thought of death.  As a society, we frown upon the idea of suicide thinking that it will encourage others.  Yet this is the one thing that I think means suicide occurs.  Who do you turn to when all of the world says your thoughts and feelings are not ok?

Suicide will always happen in this world.  We live in a world where we are more and more removed from community and family.  My family lives hundreds of kilometres from me.  My parents in law abandon their home town on a whim.  I have no true friends, just many acquaintances.  My support network is merely what I can buy.  If I do not have the means to buy a support network I am left with nothing.

I am told by society I have to have a career, a job I love, a family, a loving husband, a house, a car etc ... the picture perfect life, that life that is a cookie cutter of everyone else's.  My whole world tells me what my life should be then looks down on my when I live outside that life.  We pretend that we are free to choose but we are simply doing what is required of us.

There are those in this world that will say "I am different because I am doing what I love" or "I am different because I help those".  Yet we are all told to be something in this world we live in.  We all have that notion of wealth.  The secret hope of winning the lottery so that we can live the opulent life we believe we should lead.

So what happens when you cannot live up to this expectation?  

Society is so critical of anyone who strays from the norm.  So therefore it is easy to see how someone who has Asperger's syndrome, a condition that by its definition separates us from the norms of society, could think of suicide. But what about someone who has no mental condition to fall back on?  Do we judge them for not being able to meet the crushing weight of expectation of society?

I think of death because society has isolated me.  It has made me isolated.  It has become so cold and uncaring that we, a social species, are beginning to struggle within the void we have created.

Those who take their lives, they take their lives either because there is no other way to end the pain in their heads or lives or alternatively because society has failed them.  Sometimes all that is needed is for one person to reach out and understand, to ask "Are you ok?" and not leave it at a yes.  But in a world that is inherently narcissistic, what hope do those in pain have of being asked this question?

I will explore in later posts the idea that society is narcissistic at it's core and how it fails those who need it most.  

My husband holds me in this world.  The idea of hurting him means my thoughts are just that one day it will all end.  I think life is a blessing that we should enjoy but alas my depression does not allow me to see it for its value and instead it looks at a world where I am but a ghost, a fragment of memory in a few people's minds which even then will fade.  I hope for a day when I do not wish an oncoming car will take away my suffering.  But in a world that thinks depression can be resolved with a pill or talking (both of which have not worked for me) I think I will carry this dark burden until I do leave this world one way or another.